time is lightning

Just a blink of an eye, one year has passed and the last I could remember was me in Perlis celebrating Aidilfitri with my grandparents on my father’s side. It was unbelievable, how fast the time passes, it was almost as instant. In a few week, I’ll be seating for my final exam. I feel like I know nothing whenever I was sitting for exams such as the mid-year. I admit that I wasn’t really well prepared for the mid-year but I won’t allow that similar situation to happen again. I hope that this coming exam would be better than my mid year.

Poem…. How boring it is…. That used to be my thought, until I’ve learned something in this AUSMAT course about this so called ancient and traditional art of writing. Although I’ve learned literature components during my days at school, it didn’t however give any impact either on my feelings or my way of thinking concerning to it. All I knew on those days were to swallow and remember all the poets and their poems and some important facts relating to their works, so that I could vomit it out back during the exam. However, after my English teacher showed me some poems during English lesson created by poets that their names that I need not to remember, I felt as if the world turned around. I no longer live in a world of blindness. That English lesson on that particular day opened my eyes towards poetry world. Now, I’m learning to appreciate works done by poets as it is not easy to create a poem. The simplest poem that we can read is actually the hardest to produce. That’s what I can see through my lens. I don’t know about other people, but for me, poems are riddles created by the poets themselves by inviting and letting us to go into their world and those riddles could only be solved by letting ourselves walking in the poets’ shoes. It’s a wonderful feeling that we would likely get if we could solve one and we also would be restless if we can’t solve one. Poem is an art of writing and producing an art needs talent and creativity. One thing that still awe me until today is the method and ideas used by poets in presenting their works. Take this poem by Sylvia Plath. What could you conclude ? This is one awesome poem.

I’m a riddle in nine syllables

An elephant, a ponderous house,

A melon strolling on two tendrils.

O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers!

This loaf’s big with its yeasty rising,

Money’s new-minted in this fat pursue.

I’m a means, a stage, a cow in calf,

I’ve eaten a bag of green apples,

Boarded the train there’s no getting off.

*she is actually describing about herself of not being comfortable when she is pregnant. Awesome isn’t it…..??? nine syllables, nine lines and nine month of being pregnant. Describe as elephant,house,melon and etc.

Study....

Last Monday was my oral exam. It went pretty good. I guess….. Well, the examiners did gave me positive feedbacks to every of my responds, especially my lecture but the problem here is I was not very confident of the answers that I gave and in fact, I can’t even recall anything that was asked. I really hoped that this oral mark will help me in my exam.
By the way, this week is supposed to be my study week. It also went pretty smooth. Honestly, I’m very comfortable with this method of studying. Just make revision about topics that will come out in the exam soon and without having to worry about homework and assignments. I could study whatever subjects that I wanted to at anytime that I like within this week. Of course I need to practice self discipline. Yeah…. It’s pretty hard to resist from watching new movies that my friends brought especially movies that I missed watching in the cinema. That was one of the hardest obstacle. But I made it though. I finished revising 4 subjects in 5 days. I didn’t read all of my notes after all. I just went through all the exam sheets that I’ve done and look for silly mistakes. I prefer to learn from mistakes that I’ve done because from that, I could remember better and plus, that’s how I learn. From mistakes. I’m not a kind of guy who could stare at book for hours because that would definitely burn my bumps. I’m just not that kind of guy. Another learning method that I would prefer is learning directly from a person. That’s just who I am.
I’ll be sitting for mid-year exam next week and one thing that I can be sure is, the marking of the papers would be very strict. So, apiece of advice to myself is, STOP BEING CARELESS..!!! FOCUS and READ THE QUESTIONS CAREFULLY..!! Hopefully these words stick in my head. Good luck to me. May the force be with me……

Just for giggle....

Once upon a time, lived 3 friends. They were Do, Re and Mi. They were best friends and they always shared things with each other. However, these three friends, they have different bad habits. Do loved to get drunk, Re loved women very much and only God knows what he did with them while Mi was a heavy smoker. Despite their different habits, they were still best friends.

One day, while walking together, they found a magic lamp and when they rub it, a green genie came out from the lamp. The genie thanked them for letting him free and as a reward, the genie will grant them three wishes, one wish for every person.
Do wished to have all the good stocks of wines and beers all around the world which can last up to 10 years. Then he asked the genie to lock him with his beverages in a cave and the cave should not be opened until the next 10 years so that no one will disturb him enjoying his drinks.

Re wished for the most beautiful virgins from around the globe coming from every tribe that exists. He, like Do wished also to be kept in a cave, locked so that no one would will disturb him and the same rule that the cave should not be opened for the next 10 years from now. So the genie granted his wish.

Mi on the other hand wished for the most expensive, the most luxurious cigarettes and cigars from the whole world which could also last for 10 years and like his other two friends, he also wished to be locked in a cave and the cave should not be opened until the next 10 years. His wish was also granted and off went the genie.

So, the three friends lived happily inside their cave, enjoying themselves doing things that they loved.

10 years later……
Do’s cave was opened by the genie and Do was found dead as a result of excessive drinking. Then, Re’s cave was opened and he was also found dead because of venereal diseases he got from his own habit. Finally, Mi’s cave was opened, and guess what…..

He walked out from that cave healthily while cursing and swearing at the genie. He said that he wasted 10 years of his life for nothing inside the cave and he wanted refund. The genie did not understand why was he so mad, as he gave Mi everything that he wished for 10 years ago. Then with a very outraging voice, Mi shouted,”You gave me cigars and cigarettes, yes! But you forgot the lighter ,idiot!!!”


*this story was translated from an article that I read and it was not my own idea.... Just wanna share with you guys....


Does a bald man use a shampoo or a soap to wash his scalp? (food for thought) hehehe....

Just a piece of my mind.....

If only I knew life is this demanding, I would prepare myself since the very beginning. Well it’s not to late though to make a preparation for anything that will come. In fact, there is no such thing as “it’s too late for that”. Nothing is too late and instead of whining and swearing around, why don’t you just start something that you thought it’s already too late stuff, now. Procrastination is a species of devil which always hold humankind back. Why start something later? Why not now? It’s not too late to take a master course even when you are 75. Better there is something rather than nothing. Time is precious and as I grow up, I started to learn about something that is very important to humankind and it is also something that we always neglect. Even though it is free, the actual value is priceless and no money in this world can buy it even for one unit. It is also the most powerful element in this world. It decides things. Yes, I’m talking about time. It is very precious and there is also a Verse in the holy Quran describing about TIME. There are also many sayings related to times such as, ”time is gold” and “time and tides wait for no men”. So, time is extremely important to human. Each and every one of us were given a very limited time and it is within the course of lifespan. So, appreciate the time that were given to us. Start something new now and do things which you think worth your time and always spare some time with the beloved ones. For more emotional experience especially related to life experiences, please watch ‘YES MAN’ or ‘the ROCKERS’.

From OST to my heart….

Minutes turning to hours…..
Hours bleeding to days……
It’s been years now since the trouble you left me……
And I wanna say….
I’m NOT bitter….
Because I’ve seen better days…..

No phone call or even a letter….
No words, to call me anything….
It’s been years now….
Since anything could hurt me…..
Through this life….
I’ll take my way…..
I’m NOT bitter…..
Because I’ve seen better days….
*adapted from the song bitter by Teddy Geiger From the movie ROCKERS…. Very inspiring and spirit lifting movie…

That old game....

Last two weeks we started to play back a game which we didn’t play for a very long time. The boys (from KBU) and me played rugby. I think that I did not touch a rugby ball for one year plus. Although I used to play this game before, as I was in the secondary school, I don’t have the guts like I used to have during those golden days anymore. It was rather frustrating. I don’t have the confidence to tackle the others anymore. I hesitate every time I try to tackle someone. My confidence is just not with me anymore. Anyhow, my catching ball skill is still inside me. It was very useful for me as I played as a fullback back in those days. I use my chest as I catch the ball and during the first day we played this game, my chest were killing me as it was not as hard as it used to be. That was a disappointment to me as I realized that.
The other element that is vital for every athletes which I used to have was stamina. Every muscle in my body slowly becoming ‘softer’ just after the SPM as I play less sport just after I left school. It’s not easy to build back the stamina especially when we don’t practice self-discipline. It’s easier to lose our stamina rather than building it, just like building. It’s easier to demolish one rather than building one. A building can be demolished just in a few hours or even in a few minutes but to build it, it took years of careful planning and efforts.
I only touched on one type of sport that I used to play by not considering the other type of sports like athletics, volleyball, handball and etc. Hopefully I’m not totally ‘paralyze’. For those athletes who are still active, keep up and always maintain your stamina at the optimum level so that you won’t have to ‘look’ for it once it is lost.

I still remember...

Guess what…
Last Saturday was my 19th birthday. Birthday is something that we should enjoy and most of the people do enjoy their birthday. Yes I did enjoy my birthday although I don’t really celebrate it. This whole birthday thing made me thought, that aren’t we suppose to give presents to our parents as they struggled hard after all this years in raising us up as a token of our gratitude towards them? But the other way round happens. Parents usually give presents to their children. I’m not questioning it, but it’s just something to think about. Who should appreciate who?
This year I’ve got a Nike T-shirt from my dad. That reminded me about an Adidas T-shirt from my mom 2 years ago. She drove all the way from PJ to Banting just to wish me happy birthday and give the shirt to me but this year, my dad was from Penang but he has his own objective coming down to KL during my birthday, unlike my mom. She came by surprise as at that time, during my 17th birthday, I represented my school in an athletic event in Jugra Stadium. I took part in a 100m run. On that day, there is only a qualification round for 100m event and I was placed in the second qualification run. I was in the third place at the time as the participants reached the final line. She called and shouted my name soon after the race finished as at that time I was gasping for air. I saw her but didn’t notice that she was there since the beginning and she watched me all the time. It was the most surprising birthday surprise I ever had. Guess what… The next day, I won the 100m race. I gave myself a gold medal and I admit that, the gold medal was the best gift I’ve ever got from me myself.

Look at the brighter side....

Life is harsh. I admit that it’s hard to keep on living but I also totally agree that ending one’s life is not one solution to escape the hardness of life. It’s boring though when we live in a perfect world without problems and challenges. It’s them that make us to feel alive. If we never know pain, than we would never feel joy, If we don’t know sad, then, we don’t know happy, and if we never fail, we hardly enjoy success. That makes our life colorful and teaches us a lot in living life. That’s life my friend. You need to be at the both side in order to experience it yourself. If you stay only at one side, you’ll never understand the other side and we always put a negative perspective about something that we don’t know. Understanding is power.

Life also is something to thank about. O whom should we be grateful? Of course to the Almighty. Have you ever wondered? Why was I brought into this world? What’s the purpose? What if I were not born at all? That’s not a type of questions that we human have the right to answer. For sure, the Almighty knows better than we are, but in my opinion life is the greatest gift that God have ever given to us. Don’t be so pathetic to ask the question why, especially about life. Just live your life to the max and experience it as we only live once and believe me my friend, that is also what the God wants us to do. To live our life to the max!! It expresses our appreciation for the greatest gift ever given to us and we should fill it with great experiences. Think again, why on earth would God creates beautiful places here in this for and for whom is it? It’s for us humans!! Explore this world, go out and make something meaningful to your life. Do whatever you could before you lose the ability to do it later. Do anything, or perhaps everything!! But of course, as long as whatever we do, it doesn’t contradict with our belief and do something that is not against God.

Ibn Sina once said: I would rather live in a short life and having great achievements and experiences rather than living a long life but do nothing.

How hard...

It's not easy to become a student. Many tasks need to be done at the same time. I'm experiencing it right now. Well that doesn't matter, as I would only experience this torture for only one full year. My effort would be rewarded soon. Everything have a price in this world and we human would do anything to pay in order to get the thing that we wanted the most, no matter how high the price is. Plenty of assignments, monthly tests and less games. It's a boring life though. Like I just said, nothing is free. So, hopefully I could sustain and survive this adventure and keep fighting till the end.

He comes and he goes....

Life is just like sailing in the ocean. It’s always rough and we hardly sail through a calm sea. Eventhough sometimes we manage to sail through a calm sea, we must always accept the fact that no ocean can be calm forever and storm will definitely come uninvited. Well, that’s what happened to my family recently. We’ve lost ‘somebody’ that we really love and the lost thought us about how fragile our life is and how powerful the God is. He could give to anybody He pleases and may also take back anything that He wishes. It was not actually ‘someone’ that we lost recently, but more to something. I defined it as someone because he was very close to us and he is also a part of our family member. It was our cat named Viey.
He was very special and different compared to other cats. He was very special in a sense that the way he sits. He would let his stomach to touch the floor and spread his legs in opposite side rather than sitting normally like other cats. Other than that, Viey would only drink from a running water from a pipe. That means, somebody must open a pipe for him and waited for the water to flow out from the pipe and form a thread of flowing water from which Viey would drink from it. Viey also had a very high taste in his diet. He would not eat anything else other than his cat food (IAMS) which cost around RM 80 for a month. We always give the best to our beloved cat. My mother once threw a fresh fish in front of him just to see his reaction. He got up and sniff the fish before he walk away from it. Isn’t it awkward to see cat that would only ignore a fresh fish lying in front of him? But that’s what Viey would do. His other habit was, every morning after he was released from his cage, the first person that he would look for was my mother. Then he would patrol around our house which his territory and he marked his territory just the same way as other cats would do(you know how*watch national geographic channel*). Sometimes my mother’s clothes would also become his territory. One of the bravest thing that Viey had ever done was when we first moved to Penang and he came with my mother by car. He was very calm along the way and did not cause any problem.
The sudden lost of Viey gave a very huge emotional impact to our family. I treated him exactly like my brother and the lost made me feel as if I lost a brother. The most affected person due to the lost of Viey was my mother. She felt as if she had lost a son and I felt also as if I lost a brother. We pampered Viey very much as he was the youngest in the family. The sudden death of Viey was very tragic. The cause of his death was not known either he was beaten to death by some inhuman creature for some insane reason or he was bitten by a snake. Whatever causes his death, only God knows and He wouldn’t do something that is useless to His servant and everything happens for a reason. God is fair. One thing for sure is, Viey was one of the sweetest things that ever happened in our family.

Vacation in my own hometown...

After Chinese New Year this year(2009), malaysian celebrated Thaipusam and we also had a public holiday on monday. That means we had 3 days of holidays and I thought that it was the best time for me to visit my second hometown, Banting. I have my friends there and in fact, I planned to spend my holiday in my previous secondary school because I miss her so much since I left her for more about two years ago. I've planned my whole journey on where should I stay and with whom can I stay and also on how to spend my time there so that it would be both fun and meaningful. The best place that I can think about was the school hostel's dining hall. I knew the chef there very well and in addition one of my old friend is working with him as a kitchen assistant. The chef is a very kind man and I knew him since I was in form 4 and we became very close friend since then. Besides getting free accomodation, I also get free food. But, of course I need help them with some light kitchen works. Fortunately, students who are staying in that hostel didn't go home for Thaipusam holiday, so my chef friend have to stay at his kitchen to cook for them so that the students won't die because of starvation.

I departed from my college at about 12 o'clock Friday morning after my chemistry class. I took a bus to section 14, PJ to perform my Friday prayer there before continued my journey by taking a bus to Klang. From Klang then I took a bus straight to Banting. I arrived there at about 4 o'clock in the evening. As I entered the kitchen, my friend Hasan who is working there invited me to go to Klanang beach with him. I agreed without hesitation and off we went to Klanang taking several spare T-shirts with us. We also called our other two friends to join us. The four of us plunged into the beach, and although Klanang beach is not as prestigous as Tioman and Langkawi, we had fun together as we spent time together, something that we didn't do for a long time after we left school. We went back to shore about half an hour later as the sun was at the horizon. We planned about things that we could do together that night as we relaxed and enjoying the sunset. One of my friend suggested that we should make a barbeque that night but I didn't agreed as there were only four of us and it is not fun to make a barbeque with only four guys. So I suggested that we go to the movie. They agreed and we planned to meet at the hostel's dining hall at 9 o'clock that evening. So, Hasan and me went back to the dining hall and we took dinner there so that we don't have to spend extra money on meal. That night, as promised, we went to Jusco in Bukit Tinggi, Klang. One of my friends didn't actually have enough money to buy his ticket. So we decided to "donate" some amount of money so that he could buy his ticket. We watched Ong-bak2 that night. It was a fine movie. It started at 12 o'clock and finished at 1.30 in the morning. We didn't hang out after that, we went back home instead but we didn't go straight to sleep. We played video games first before we finally slept at 5 in the morning.

The next morning, after Subuh prayer, I helped Hasan preparing breakfast. "Pisang Goreng" was in the menu. Besides helping him, I also learned to make "Pisang Goreng". It was so simple and not as complicated as I thought. Unfortunately, I must go back to PJ as my mother told me that she was on her way to KL from Penang. She would be meeting me in PJ. So, I have no choice other than heading to PJ that evening as she claimed that she would be there at about 7. I went off from Banting at around 3 o'clock. It was very hard to say goodbye but I had to. I wished I could stay a bit longer but I was satisfied as I had a chance to meet my friend. Surprisingly, I spent only RM 30 for this holiday and that included my bus fare and my movie ticket. Someday, I would make this similar trip again when I had time.

College and Secondary School..?? Is it like heaven and earth..?? Through my lens...

Well, to answer that question, I shall look through different aspects in which I can judge and see myself with my two eyes and a brain which the God gave me.
In my opinion, the teaching system is absolutely different. That is something common and every university students must adapt themselves with this new method of teaching. They won't be spoon fed as they were in their secondary school. Me myself feel a little bit awkward because there is no one to push me on either how and when to study. In my previous school, my hostel warden used to force me to go to study room every evening in which as I can remember, I only obeyed his order only for the next two weeks. I was not alone at that time as my friends were always beside me. They also sometimes acted like wardens but they themselves were also as stubborn as me. The thing is, here in college there is no one that really act as a warden to remind me when to study . I think that, this is one of my major concern as I step into this tertiary level of study. Besides that, I must also look for extra infos myself by doing some research. To be honest, it's not easy but on the other hand, it is very interesting as I have no experience in doing research for my current studies. The only time that I did my research in my secondary school was when there is an assignment or commonly known as 'folio' in those days. Doing self research is not a skill that I possess, so I also depend on my coursemates here in college for extra infos.
Other than that, my sport participation in college also is not the same as I was in my secondary school. One simple reason is, I play sport that is not so popular and not so many people know and not all are interested to learn my favourite game. My favourite game is volleyball and I love it very much. I started to play this game since I was a 'fag' in my secondary school. My seniors thought me how to play this game and actually hostel boys at my previous school were the heroes of the school's volleyball team. My school stayed as the champion of the district for 4 consecutive years. That was one amazing achievement and I helped my school in defending our title as the king of the district(for volleyball) during my final year before I left that school after the SPM. That was the last victory for our school. In fact, when I was in form 5, my 'comrades' helped our school to win in many sports and we always brought back a medal with us. We hardly came back empty-handed in every events that we participated. I personally helped my school in earning a 100m gold for track and field, a silver in rugby (I played as a fullback) and of course another gold for volleyball. It was not pride that drove me, but the satisfaction of struggling and fighting with my 'comrades' for our Alma Mater. Those were my days but today, I have nothing to struggle for. I also hardly play volleyball now and within this two years, I did not participate in any sport event. I understand my situation now where my only responsibility is to study and keep my pace on it. It's no ones fault. I do not want to let my parents down and I must pass this AUSMAT programme so that I can go to Germany to further my studies. It's a heavy burden though but I see it as a challenge for me to know my endurance and I am a 'kampung boy' from SMK Telok Datok and I will answer to all challenges without fear. Let the glories in my past be my guidance and my inspiration for me to create more glories in my future and I believe God, my parents and my 'comrades' will always be with me. Love you all.

(pic:some of my comrades)